I can’t find the words to explain the kind of bond I had with my Uncle Heath. We didn’t talk all the time but there was this “knowing” in our souls.

Heath was almost 4 years old when I was born. He and Guy were more like brothers, cousins, not uncles. All of us cousins would fight over who got to hang out with our “cool” Uncle Heath when he was a teenager and we were still kids, wanting to be all grown up. We spent hours riding bikes, playing outside, sliding in our jeans down a dirt cliff by my house, going to the wash, riding our Shetland Pony “Oreo.” Seeing him cry after his Dad died when Heath was only 11 years old. Guy was only 8. Heath tried to be so strong for everyone. We used to catch frogs out in our pond. We played with our toy cars, making tracks in the dirt. We went Trick-or-Treating. We wrestled in the living room, me screaming my head off when the boys trapped me in a tickle fight. We fought over riding shotgun and who would answer the phone at Mammy’s house. Heath went hunting and fishing with our dad. Later, we sang Karaoke together, took too many shots and even got kicked out of bars. When we had kids, we loved each other’s kids the same. He was the best son, brother, uncle, father and husband to his family.

When Heath, his wife Amanda and my cousin Cope left to move to Kentucky and later Montana, my heart was broken. My “Uncle Heafer” was leaving Arizona and leaving me. We grew up together, and I felt like I was losing a brother. A protector.

But that was nothing to what I am feeling now.

Sunday, August 31, was a day that we were celebrating my mom and Guy’s birthday, one of Heath’s sisters and his brother. But the celebration turned to grief in an instant when we all got that call. Our Heath was gone. The Montana rivers he enjoyed so much had taken him. How do we accept a life so full and eyes so bright, to be taken so soon?

Yes, we know he is with Jesus now. He is reunited with his mom, his dad, Odie and all the rest. Too many keep going up there, and I can only pray that God will be content with that, and take no more of us until He takes us all home. Because we all must go. The mountains, rivers and sunsets in Heaven could never compare to here on earth- and I don’t blame you Heath- for moving again to where the grass is so so much greener. There is no way we can understand why God took you. We love you and miss you so.

Your kind eyes will forever be shining in my mind.